I know it is only July, but as I sat thinking about myself for a few minutes the other day, it occurred to me how many changes I have made as a person in 2018.
I really focused on my fitness and lost 20 pounds and began coaching a few classes at the gym I go to. I still have a long way to go in this particular aspect of my life, but I feel that what I have done so far is noteworthy. I absolutely hated my weight for several years now, and had not really ever had the proper motivation to make the changes that I really wanted to.
I finally decided to not be so self concious with my body image. I am overweight. I have cellulite on my legs. So many women have it. So many of us feel terrible about it. It has been YEARS since I have worn shorts in public. Pants or capris only. Well… I am over it. Not where I want to be appearance wise, but I am likely never coming back from this cellulite infested mess. It gets hot in the summer, and quite frankly, I do not want my daughter to be afraid to wear shorts when her day comes. I am so strong minded in every other aspect of my life, why have I let society’s beauty standards get me down in this category? Nope. Not happening anymore.
In general, I have been working on me. The way that I handle situations and people emotionally. In the recent past, I have found that people have been so irritating to me. And that is really sad. I like to hermit out in my house, but when I go out in the world, I like to think and feel that people are okay. I really want to see the best in people and it has felt like some of the people we previously knew had gone down a dark path. That is always sad and frustrating. It is not fun watching someone change and then realizing that you can no longer trust them or have their new variety of behavior in your life. So, I decided it is out of my control and that I will do and react the way that I need to at the time. While doing so, I try to keep myself elevated to the level I want to be at and not sink down to a place I do not want to be. I am not intending to come across as stuck up in this, I just know what I will and will not tolerate. I have been feeling much better about people and who I am again.
Sometimes I struggle in my marriage. Who doesn’t though, right? My husband is a wonderful person, but everyone has issues and that can cause stress, and anger, in turn wearing on both of you. We were both tired of it, so we have been working on this together. That has been really refreshing. Some days we fail miserably, but it seems that we have more winners than we did before. I will take what I can get and be grateful for all of the good ones.
Bottom line is, I am 33 years old, and I am really tired of feeling like my best days are behind me. Or that I should not do something because I am a mom, or I am aging. Why can’t I try out new fads? Why can’t I laugh and smile every day? Whay can’t I discover the world around me? Why can’t I have goals and dreams? I am not necessarily sure what they are all the time as life changes every day, but the point is, I am not done living. My life might not amount to something huge, I may never become a widely known influencer or have the reality status or finances of the Kardashians, but that is okay with me. I know what I am doing for myself and the ones I know and care about every day. And I know whether or not I am happy. I hope you will find the courage to do the same. From my experience, once you take that first step, and find a little bit of direction, it seems to get a bit easier from there.